Oliver is now 6 months old and we’re at a stage where I’m getting a bit more sleep and I’m confident in everything I’m doing with him that I can really enjoy our time together without worrying if he’s had enough milk, or sleep, or if his poo is the right colour (to all those without kids yes you really worry about this stuff, it’s crazy I know!). I’ve recently been negotiating my hours for when I go back to work and it’s now hit me that spending everyday with Ollie has an expiration date.
I chose to take nine months maternity leave as you don’t get paid after that and unfortunately I can’t afford not to go back to work. I know that I’m lucky to be taking this time to bond with my baby as some people have to go back to work a lot sooner but I can’t help but feel, well, totes emosh about my maternity ending! I like to be the person that he wakes up to and soothes him when he cries and I’m going to be putting him in someone else’s hands to do all of those things, but most of all I’m scared I’m going to miss something, like his first word or his first steps – I can already see myself in floods of tears at my desk.
More than anything it’s made me realise that I need to cherish every moment between now and June when I will be returning to work because having Ollie has been the best experience of my life and it’s taught me so much, especially about what’s important. Also, I know that I’m never going to get this time back and he’s only going to get bigger. So until the dreaded June comes around I will be absorbing every moment with Ollie, creating memories, enjoying every cuddle and yes even every nappy change!