I’ve done my first full week back at work albeit three days but the important thing is I survived. That’s not to say it wasn’t hard or that I wasn’t emotional, especially on that first morning. I should have hung a sign around my neck – don’t ask if I’m okay, I will cry!
For anyone approaching the end of their maternity I thoroughly recommend putting together a survival kit for that first day. Include tissues, alcohol – something convenient to stick in your handbag a vodka miniature should do the trick as it doesn’t smell and will totally take the edge off – and photos of your little one. I personally created a little Ollie wall on my desk partition, you know just in case I forget what he looks like. Yes I am now that person- baby pictures everywhere! But seriously I really did wish I had alcohol.
I can definitely confirm that the fear of returning to work is much greater than the reality. That initial pull of the heart strings when you leave your baby is short lived and you can definitely work past it. Saying that I still called regularly to check how he was getting on. I really missed Ollie even just seeing his gorgeous little face – hence the photos. I would daydream wondering what he was up to which is silly really, as if I imagined him to be totally independent now and leading some sort of sophisticated life, when in reality he was probably just working on a poo.
The perks of returning to work include catching up with friends & work colleagues, getting to drink a tea while it’s still hot – heaven! And going for a wee by yourself.
The one issue for me came like an epiphany as I was being shown all the new systems which have been ‘upgraded’ including a new phone system that’s been installed where by you have to press +44 before dialling as the new systems company is based in Ireland, so all calls are now routed from abroad – genius! Among various new bullshit decisions regarding mobile phone & internet use I realised I just didn’t care anymore. *glass shatters*
If anyone else works in the public sector or for a large organisation where there are layers upon layers of management and your life seems to revolve around hideous beaurocracy you will understand. Almost everyday there are new decisions on what ‘our focus’ is, only to be replaced by something less useful a week later. But be sure that it will necessitate an infinite number of excel spreadsheets.
The thing is I now have a whole new set of priorities, most of which revolve around Ollie, my family and enjoying our life together. Unfortunately work is a necessity for money but it’s no longer a main factor. Can you tell that I’m unfulfilled? (Don’t worry I’m working on it.)
So to conclude I have officially transitioned from my lovely maternity mummy & baby bubble to the next step of my life – being a working mummy. It’s a natural progression I suppose unless your super duper rich or have a sugar daddy (because these are obviously the only options). I have accepted the change but will still mourn for my maternity days.
The highlight of the week was Thursday, my first day off with Ollie after starting work as I cherished every single moment with him. And on those horrible days where the bullshit seems never ending I know I can look forward to those days off where I can cuddle my baby and any memory of work will melt away and that will be my focus.